Strength
by ClassyChristine
Summary: She was the strongest woman he knew, going on after her world had been turned upside down.


I wrote this after 5.15 but hesitated to publish it because some of you may think it's exaggerated. And maybe it is. I just think we never really saw Diane break down and wondered how it was when she was alone. We also never saw Kurt's reaction. It may be too fluffy with the comforting parts but honestly, I don't care. I needed to channel my sadness somewhere, and my videos aren't working so well right now. Enjoy! If that's possible.

11:43 P.M.

11:43 was the time and she made no effort to get up. She wiped the last tear from her mascara-streaked face and rolled over on her side. Her dress was messed up, her heels on the floor, and an empty bottle of wine was beside her. The door was closed and the blinds were down, because the last thing she wanted was to be disturbed by someone, though everyone had probably left by now. Not one person in this world but the one she was thinking about had ever seen her in such a bad state.

He was really gone. She found it unbelievable that something so terrible could happen, but he was really dead. They'd never share a drink together, dance together, or wiin a case together again. She'd never be able to confide in him when she needed to, and she'd be all alone in her office every night. When there was a noise down the hall, it wouldn't be him, only the night janitor sweeping or the security guards roaming the halls.

She began to cry again, although she wasn't sure she could anymore. If she'd known, she'd have sacrificed herself for him, surely more people cared about him anyway. She could've died having lived most of her life, being in a peaceful state, and having loved someone. But he, he was in a horrible state lately, with Alicia gone, he'd bend more devastated than ever. He could've won many more cases with her at his side, taken the firm to the top after she retired, and been happy. Now nobody was happy, and Diane would have to control a firm by herself that she hadn't even planned to be a part of now. But it wasn't her to be sad, nobody could see her like this, she'd have to come into work tomorrow and act strong for everyone else, because God knows what would happen if she didn't.

But still, she found herself gasping for breath as she unsuccessfully tried to stop crying. She rose up, only to fall back down again. How was it possible for other people to keep themselves together so well? She almost had a breakdown when she was talking to David Lee. She tried to remember their last moment together- they'd talked yesterday, shared a drink last night, and worked on calling some clients this morning. It would never be that way again.

Slowly, shakily, she gathered her things and walked out of the room, almost forgetting to turn off the light. She knew that she was in no condition to drive, she'd drank more than she had in awhile, but nobody was on the roads. She drove home in the pouring rain, and though her tears had dried, she could t stop thinking about him. At 12:56 A.M., she finally arrived home.

The bedroom was quiet, except for the sound of her husband's breathing. When she shut the door, he sat up and looked at her. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She wanted to say yes, it was amazing how badly she wanted to say that everything was perfect, that the day had gone great, she'd won her case and had a celebratory drink with her partner. Being Diane, she wanted to avoid it and say it was fine, or even say that she wasn't okay and just go to bed. She didn't want to break down in front of him, she didn't want to show her soft side to anyone. Crying in front of people seemed weak, and she used to think it was silly, but she was so sad that she shook her head and managed to breathe out "Will" before beginning to cry again.

He got up and took her into his arms, carrying her back to the bed. Ignoring the urge to ask what happened to her partner. he just held her, stroking her back as she sobbed into his bare chest. When she finally stopped, she was exhausted. She fell asleep like this and he slowly unzipped her dress and pulled the blankets up over her before laying down at her side.

When Diane woke up the next morning, she looked up to see Kurt looking over her. Normally, he'd be downstairs, but he'd been here for her all night. He'd only moved to get some coffee and the newspaper, which was now well-hidden due to the cover story. Even he had cried a little, not able to see how such a horrible thing could happen. Will had meant so much to Diane, and something to Kurt, too. "I'm sorry", she whispered, almost inaudibly. "For the way I acted last night."

"Don't apologize, Diane. There's nothing to be sorry for. I'll always be here for you."

"So I assume you heard?"

"Yes. I am so sorry."

Once again, a tear rolled down her cheek. But it was only one tear. She would live through this. "Thank you", she said.

"I'll call the office for you, so you can stay home today", he said, about to grab the phone.

"No."

"Diane, you are in no condition-"

"I'm going."

And that's just what she did. About an hour later, she came downstairs dressed in her work clothes, her makeup on. She grabbed her purse and her keys, and even though her eyes were puffy, and her hair was a little messed up, she bent down to kiss him and say goodbye before going out the door.

As he watched her go, even with all the events of last night, he couldn't help but smile at her strength. She was the strongest woman he knew, going on after her world had been turned upside down. He knew that she'd come home that night ready to fall into his arms again and cry, but she was strong for the rest if the world. No one would ever know how she did it. He admired her and felt bad for her, and he knew very well that she was far from okay, but that he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. She would go on, she'd be stronger than ever, just like the Diane Lockhart he knew.


End file.
